'tis a memoir

And now it's the time for a piece of prose. That's the fragment of a memoir. The author remembers his mother and a special story of hers - an account of a lonesome Irish immigrant's day. Please, pay attention to curious punctuation - in order to show the story as it was said, to make the narration more "real", most of punctuation marks have been omitted.

Well, I was sitting in my apartment and I was feeling lonesome so I went up and sat on one of those benches they have in the grassy island in the middle of Broadway and this woman came along, a shopping bag woman , one of the homeless ones, all tattered and greasy , rooting around in the grabage can till she found a newspaper and sat beside me reading it till she asked me if she could borrow my glasses because she could read only headlines with the sight she had and when she talked I noticed she had an Irish accent so I asked where she came from and she toled me Donegal a long time ago and wasn't it lovely to be sitting on a bench in the middle of Broadway with people noticing things and asking where you came from. She I asked if I could spare a few pennies on a soup and I insisted she could come with me to the Associated supermarket and we'd get some groceries and have a proper meal. Oh, she couldn't do that, she said, but I told her that's what I was going to do anyway. She wouldn't come inside the store. She said they wouldn't like the likes of her. I got bread and butter and rashers and eggs and when we got home I told her she could go in and have a nice shower and she was delighted with herself though there wasn't much I could do about her clothes or the bags she carried. We had our dinner and watched television till she started falling asleep on me and i told her lie down there on the bed but she wouldn't. God knows the bed is big enough for four but she laid down on the floor with a shopping bag under her head and when I woke up in the morning she was gone and I missed her.

I know it wasn't the dinner wine that had me against the wall in a fit of remorse. It was the thought of my mother being so lonesome she had to sit on a street bench, so lonesome she missed the company of a homeless shopping bag woman.

(Frank McCourt 'Tis. A Memoir.)

shopping bag woman = bag lady - kloszardka
tattered - obszarpany
greasy - zatłuszczony
root around in - grzebac w
garbage can - US pojemnik na smieci
she wouldn't come inside
the likes of her - infml jej podobni
groceries - artykuły spozywcze
rasher - plasterek bekonu
had me against the wall - zmuziło mnie do oparcia się o scianę
a fit of remorse - przypływ wyrzutów sumienia

road to mandalay

It's not that I'm a RobbieWilliams fan, but what I like about his songs, or at least some of them, is their streak of self-mockery. As if the singer was trying not to be serious about himself, and on no condition melodramatic, even though between the lines you can sometimes hear the drama of everything that "got broken" along the way. The same with his Road To Mandalay - the music is so cheerfull that it alleviates any possible anxiety audible in the lyrics. When you add up all of his biographical swoops, depression, alcohol and drug abuse, the song seems to be at least an attempt at self-detachment.


The Road to Mandalay is a perfect song for a teacher. Firstly, because it has a story behind. Secondly, because the lyrics are long enough. Thirdly, because it's easy to sing, and some of you asked for a pronunciation exercise. Remember only not to sing too loud, especially if you work shoulder to shoulder in some vast corporate space. The full text and explanations - HERE.

Play the song and fill in the gaps: )

Road to Mandalay

Save me from ______________ in the sea
Beat me up on the _____________

What a lovely holiday
There's nothing funny left to say
This ___________ song would drain the sun
But it won't shine until it's sung

No water running in the _____________
The saddest place we've ever seen

Everything I touched was ______________
Everything I loved got broken
On the road to Mandalay
Every mistake I've ever made
Has been ___________ and then replayed
As I got lost along the way

There's nothing left for you to give
The truth is all that you're left with
Twenty paces then _____ ______________
We will die and be reborn

I like to sleep beneath the _____________
Have the ________________ at one with me
Look down the ____________ of a gun
And feel the _________ replace the ___________

Everything we've ever stolen
Has been lost ____________ or broken
No more dragons left to __________
Every mistake I've ever made
Has been ______________ and then replayed
As I got lost along the way

Save me from ________________ in the sea
Beat me up on the beach
What a lovely holiday
There's nothing funny left to say

a Robbie Williams fan - proszę zwrócić uwagę na brak possessive 's

streak - element, "coś"

self-mockery - autoironia

on no condition - w żadnym wypadku

along the way - po drodze

alleviate anxiety - złagodzić niepokój

audible - słyszalny

swoop - lot nurkowy, pikowanie

self-detachment - dystans do siebie samego

shoulder to shoulder - ramię przy ramieniu, ramię w ramię

vast - ogromny

past tense, future perfect

Right, every learner is a unique human being and he or she brings into classroom all of those magnificent things about him or her, but I can’t resist the temptation of trying to divide these unique creatures I meet into certain categories. I wonder where you would place yourself, if you were asked to.

ELEMENTARY FOREVER – always chooses the safe beginner path. The one who starts everything from scratch, hoping this time he/she’ll get it right. Never beyond simple present and continuous, with the tendency to use them even while talking about what he/she did two years ago. At the point of departure, already left with no self-confidence.

INTERMEDATE EVER AFTER – he/she thinks his/her English is not so good ("It probably might be better, but somehow, it’s clumsy and probably predestined to remain so"). She/he knows present perfect and has heard everything about it, but when it comes to use it, she/he always ponders: “is that the right moment?” Usually the answer is “yes!” and present perfect pops up in every sentence, just in case, to impress the teacher.

Has anybody seen an upper-intermediate? – this category is most often blank. In language schools, learners are labeled upper-intermediate because nobody knows what to do with them once they’ve completed the “intermediate” level.

How advanced am I? – He/she knows they know much. They have heard of most of the structures and can use them. But what worries them most of all is the question: “am I advanced enough?” Relax, take it easy, learn vocab, learn about the world in English, too – they should be reassured.

And last, but not least, there is a Student Always Wanted. A SAW knows learning is a process. A SAW knows he has already learnt something and is ready to ask for more. A SAW can say why he/she wants to learn and motivation is 75 % success.

A SAW is open-minded and believes in, as Zadie Smith wrote in her White Teeth, “past tense, future perfect”. What you expect is, most often, where you end up.

him or her [lub him/her], he or she - the politically correct way to refer to an individual regardless of sex
resist the temptation - oprzec się pokusie
path /pa:θ/- ścieżka, droga
start from scratch /skræt∫/- zaczynać od nowa, od zera
the point of departure - punkt wyjścia
self-confidence - wiara w siebie
clumsy - niezgrabny
is predestined to - jest mu przeznaczone
ponder - rozmyslać
pop up - pojawiać się
blank - pusty
label - etykietować, szufladkować
vocab=vocabulary

and remember that
a saw /so:/ means also: piła
and tense means also - napięty, "past tense" tutaj: przeszłość pełna napięć